Take a wooden matchstick and slice a thin sliver from one side.
Then cut the remaining stick in two, lengthwise. Make sure you
leave a little of the red tip intact for effect. Discard one half.
Make the aircraft by gluing the sliver of wood - the wing - across
the remaining part of the matchstick - the fuselage. If you want,
you can use little scraps to make a tail section. Or you can make
a biplane. Or you can use a couple of thin slices of balsa to make
a huge wing, one that will carry maybe twenty engines. Indulge
your aeronautical whims. Think of lift, think of thrust, think of
innovation without the benefit of an industrial policy.
Catch a bunch of flies. Put them in a jar and put the jar in the freezer.
In a few seconds the flies will be chilled out completely. This is called
cryogenics, and it has its drawbacks. For example, the
flies will be dead flies if you freeze them too long.
Dead flies are no good. So if you're a tinkerer, refrigerate
your flies. It takes longer to make them comatose, but
they have a higher recovery rate than the ones you leave in
the freezer next to the burritos.
Meanwhile, put a tiny drop of rubber cement at each
place along the wing where you want an engine.
Take the flies out of the freezer. Attach the abdomen of
one frigid fly to each drop of glue. Make sure all the flies
are facing the same direction.
Breathe life into the flies. A miracle: A gentle puff
of your warm breath will resuscitate the flies.
Launch the aircraft. It should fly like a charm, and, far from being cruel
to the flies, you'll be teaching them a new and valuable thing, one
that brings us to the virtue of this exercise. For we see that while flies
think a lot alike, have a great deal in common, share many of the
same hopes and dreams, they never act in concert, as a team,
with regard for the worth of other, neighboring flies until forced
to by grim circumstance - as, for example, when they are
harnessed to fly and either first experience the exhilaration of high
altitude cooperation or die. Redeemed by such a critical choice,
they'll soar like a glider, race like a Stealth, and,
when overflying a barnyard or kennel, turn into a wicked
awesome dive bomber.
